How are you supposed to feel?

How are you supposed to feel

When your best friend dies

Of cancer.

I don’t know how to feel

It doesn’t feel real

Empty inside

I cannot hide

The pain.

Never again will we laugh and chat

About this and that

Putting the world to rights

Wonderful times

Unforgettable times

All come to an end.


My friend.

We talked and listened

In equal measure

Taking real pleasure

In each other’s lives

Sharing trials and tribulations

Countless celebrations.


And as the kids grew

We always knew

We shared something special and real.


My head is awash with memories

Random cameos.


The more we love

The harder it is

To let go

But I know that in time I will smile

Because Lindsay Kyle

Was my friend

And we had so much fun.


Daffodils painted by Lindsay. Mum loved going to Lindsay's art classes. I remember how Betty, my Mum-in-law, loved a painted Easter card she received.

Daffodils painted by Lindsay. Mum loved going to Lindsay’s art classes. I remember how Betty, my Mum-in-law, loved a painted Easter card she received.



About Gill Phillips - Whose Shoes?

Passionate about personalisation in health & social care. Creator of Whose Shoes? - an imaginative approach to helping people work together to improve lives.
This entry was posted in Blogs, cancer, end of life, in my shoes, personalisation, well-being and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to How are you supposed to feel?

  1. maspring37 says:

    Reblogged this on maspring37 and commented:
    So sorry about your friend. My husband saw several doctors about a large lump he had. It was diagnosed as a hernia. Five years later when he started being violently sick, I fought to get him into hospital. They sent him home the next day with Gaviscon for an upset stomach. Two weeks later he was back in hospital and finally diagnosed with cancer of the duodenum ,which the doctor said was much larger than they had anticipated. I miss him every day and wish I had fought harder.


  2. Kate Swaffer says:

    Dear Gill,
    This is such a beautiful tribute to your dear friend Lyndsay; you have honoured your friendship and her life, and your mutual love for each other so well.
    Thank you also for sharing your pain with us. I only wish there was something we could do, more tangible than send messages of love and healing, but I am sure like me, everyone who knows you loves you and is sending their love too.
    Huge Koala hugs to you all,
    Kate xox


    • Thank you dear Kate. I know you have had more than your own share of pain at losing friends of late. The price we pay for being fortunate enough to love and be loved. I am so very happy that we shared so many wonderful times. #koalahugs for you too! Xox


  3. Sarah Russell says:

    What a wonderful narrative and tribute Gill. I am very sorry for your loss and glad for you that you enjoyed such a mutual wonderful relationship. Take care of yourself. Xxxxx


  4. Sounds like you both had a wonderful friendship Gill some would say Blessed !
    Sadly words dont cut it when you lose someone you value so highly ,
    God Bless Gill tc of yourself xxx


  5. Pingback: “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans” | Whose Shoes?

  6. Pingback: #Woopdedoodle! The top 50 ‘HSJ Inspirational Women, 2014′. | Whose Shoes?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s